


freckles II

by reylofics



Category: BROCKHAMPTON (Band)
Genre: Drugs, Hospitals, M/M, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 00:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylofics/pseuds/reylofics
Summary: baby put your hands up if ya ever, if ya everif ya ever been in, in love





	freckles II

**Author's Note:**

> reading the first half of the story, freckles, is recommended prior to reading this story in order to understand the background of the main characters and their relationship with each other . trigger warnings for mentions of strong drugs and toxic relationships

Matt will never forget the way his heart dropped when Russell’s mom called him and told him the news. He had been laying down with Tavia in her dorm room, watching her sort through shows to watch, when he had felt his phone buzzing repeatedly in his back pocket. Looking back on it, he felt ashamed that he picked up his phone with a reluctant attitude that bordered on annoyance. Though, the attitude disappeared soon enough when he recognized the number flashing across his screen as Russell’s mom. Matt pecked Tavia’s cheek and muttered some lame excuse as to why he had to leave. 

He doesn’t even recall her saying anything. Or maybe he just doesn’t remember because of how quickly he rushed out of her dorm room and to his car to accept the call from Russell’s mom.

“Matthew?”

She hadn’t said anything else but his name and Matt already knew that something was seriously wrong with Russell. There was no other reason that she would have called Matt and they both knew it. After all, there hadn’t been much communication between Russell and Matt after Russell had abandoned his meeting with Tavia. Still, Matt cared immensely about the other boy.

“What’s wrong?” came the trembling voice of Matt.

There was a significant pause on the other end of the line before Russell’s mom continued.

“Matt, he’s in the hospital.”

And everything came tumbling back to Matt. The hook-up, the party, the drive back home from the party, meeting Tavia, the curt nods that they exchanged when they saw each other out on the streets and the time that Russell kissed him and ceased all contact with Matt after he explained that he “couldn’t do this, please, I have a girlfriend and I’m really happy with her”. He didn’t even bother to ask why Russell was in the hospital. He knew it was because of him. All he asked for was the name of the hospital. 

Twenty minutes later, Matt was there. It was only seven pm and he was hoping that Russell, at the very least, was awake. On the way to the hospital, he had been absentmindedly tapping his fingers insistently on the steering wheel. He hadn’t noticed just how restless he was until he stepped out of the car and couldn’t stop his limbs from anxiously going everywhere. His breathing wasn’t much better. 

Everything was swirling around and his brain was a liquid mess. And the worst part was that he felt that he had no control over any of it. All he could do was sit down on the sidewalk that was right by where he had just parked and take a few minutes to calm down. He ignored the hum of passing cars and waved his hand away when a random passerby came over to ask if he was okay.

Matt felt guilty. He felt guilty for panicking like this right in front of the hospital where Russell was in. But he knew that if anyone deserved to be feeling like this, it was him. No matter how many times that Russell’s mom had tried to dismiss this notion from his head, Matt couldn’t get the self-loathing feeling that he had about himself right now out of his head. Even when the panic attack stopped, Matt couldn’t help but to draw up the worst scenarios of Russell’s reaction to Matt visiting him in the hospital.

He almost didn’t even enter the hospital. But by the time he stopped drawing up unrealistic scenarios of Russell’s many reactions, Matt realized that he was standing at the foot of the entrance to the hospital. The raven haired boy shook off the uneasy feeling that the hospital always gave him and continued walking forward until he reached the check-in station.

The receptionist looked nice enough. She looked to be a middle-aged lady that was about Matt’s mom’s age. She had on glasses and wore an infectious smile that almost caused Matt to smile back, if he hadn’t been so nervous.

“H-h-hey, I’m here to visit someone,” stuttered Matt, fumbling over the words.

The receptionist chose not to comment on his nervousness and talked with warm professionalism. 

“Can you tell me their name, please?”

Matt scratched his head anxiously, almost like he didn’t know his lifelong best friend’s full name.

“Russell Evan Boring.”

Matt grew even more anxious when he saw the lady’s smile fade away for the slightest second. She reluctantly gave him a sorrow look as she typed the boy’s name into her computer, searching up which room he was in. For a brief second, she glanced down at her computer screen and narrowed her eyes to read off the name of the room that Russell was in. 

“Visiting hours are over at nine,” reminded the receptionist.

Matt gave a shameful “Thank you” in response and rushed off to see Russell. She waved a hand back to him but he didn’t even see. He was flying down the halls as quickly as he could without being reprimanded, walking at a brisk pace down the corridor as he scanned the room numbers, anxiously searching for the one that Russell was in.

Finally, his eyes focused on the numbers that he had so desperately been searching for. A breath of relief escaped from his throat, though it was quickly replaced with an anxious breath as his fingers reached out to turn the door handle. He heard the gentle click of the door opening and he felt his heart drop when he heard the soft whisperings of the boy behind the door.

“Mom? Is that you?” he heard Russell say.

Matt didn’t respond. Instead, he paused, not moving his fingers at all. He stood there, silently against the door, awaiting further commentary from the blonde haired boy. There was nothing. It took every single ounce of courage in Matt’s body for him to continue opening the door handle and walk inside.

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw inside. Matt hadn’t gone into this completely blind, but he hadn’t exactly asked Russell’s mom for the details behind his accident. Though, seeing him now, Matt could see that it clearly wasn’t an accident. He felt horrible for not asking Russell’s mom to elaborate when she had said that Russell had gone through a bit of a “rough time that unfortunately landed him in the hospital”.

Russell’s eyes were closed when Matt walked in. He, in some ways, looked like a frozen corpse. The once healthy blonde boy that Matt had seemingly known not so long ago didn’t seem to be present in this new form of Russell. He was extremely pale, like all the blood had been sucked out of his body. His hair was still as pretty as ever, but it helplessly flopped against the skeletal, distinguishingly bony features of his face. 

There were tubes and needles all over the place. The veins on Russell’s arms seemed to pop out. They were the only vibrant color left on Russell’s body.

“Boba,” choked out Matt.

Russell opened his eyes and he looked tired when he did so, like he hadn’t slept in days. And suddenly, Matt was crying and he rushed forward to Russell’s bedside, not even waiting for a response.

“What happened?” Matt cried out. He wanted to ask, “What did you do to yourself?” But he knew he couldn’t place the blame on Russell. Not today.

Russell tiredly smiled, running his fragile hands in Matt’s hair to the side of his bed. Matt felt his bony fingers entangled in his black hair and he wanted to get up, to look at Russell, but he knew that would cause him even more pain. So he stayed in his current kneeling position, desperate for any sort of response that he would get from Russell.

The response was sad, breathy, and ashamed all at once.

“Heroin. OD.”

Russell’s tear ducts were blank and his eyes seemed to be devoid of emotion when he said this. Matt, on the other hand, was a sobbing mess. He was sure that his salty tears were staining the clean hospital sheets and he couldn’t help but to feel like it really was all his fault. Like he had been the reason for Russell’s attempted overdose.

“I’m so sorry,” Matt said in between shaky breaths, still not lifting his head up from the bed sheets, “this is all my fault, Russ. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. I’m going to break up with Tavia, too. I mean, I don’t want you to feel like I’m only doing that because of you, though. That was a long time coming. I like her, I really do. But something has been missing and it’s you. Baby, please. Just let me do whatever it takes.”

Russell shook his head, though Matt couldn’t see this.

“Matt, it’s nothing you can fix. This was of my own doing. It’s not your fault.”

After what seemed like an eternity, Matt finally looked up to meet Russell’s tired eyes. This wasn’t the same man he had known a year ago. This wasn’t the boy who had kissed him. This man was devoid of any emotion, too weak and helpless to feel for anyone else at the moment. And Matt knew it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t blame Russell for what he had become. He knew it was just the drugs running through his blood that were causing him to act this way. Still, Matt couldn’t ignore the way he felt.

He couldn’t ignore the way he put Russell over everyone else. The way, after all this time, he put Russell’s needs over his girlfriend’s, his mother’s, his family’s and even his own. Maybe heroin was the drug that had consumed Russell, but Russell was the drug that had consumed Matt.

**Author's Note:**

> gosh, i can never give these two a happy ending, can i?


End file.
